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Quotes & Toasts of the Day 
- 

"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy
eating, and in fourteen days, I had lost exactly two weeks."-- Joe E. Lewis

"I have enough money to last me the rest of my
life - unless I buy something."-- Jackie Mason

"Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of
duck call."-- Richard Lewis

Today's Feature:  - 
67
Strange Insights and Sayings

New
sayings that should be on buttons...



1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.



4. I majored in Liberal Arts. Will that be for here or to go?



13. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.



24. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.



32. Allow me to introduce my selves.



39. Do they ever shut up on your planet?



43. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.



47. After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?



54. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?



CL1CK Here for All 67 : http://www.strangecosmos.com/read.adp?joke_id=867 





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