Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD: Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decided to wash my car. As I started toward the garage, I spotted the mail on the hall table I should go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay the car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.
So, I put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I might as well pay the bills first.
I see my checkbook on the table, but there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk, where I find the bottle of juice that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the juice aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
But the juice is getting warm, and should be put in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
Heading toward the kitchen with the juice, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye. They need to be watered.
I set the juice down on the counter, and find my reading glasses, for which I've been searching all morning.
I had better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water, and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table. Tonight when we sit down to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it's on the kitchen table.
I should put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers .
I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I put the remote back down on the table, and get some towels to wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm bottle of juice sitting on the counter,
the flowers aren't watered,
there is still only one check in my checkbook,
I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
I'm trying to figure out why nothing got done today; it's quite baffling because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I know this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you?
Forward this message to whoever you think might enjoy it, because I don't remember who I've already sent it to.
Submitted by our Pal Kaspar
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