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QUOTES & TOASTS of the DAY  -  

"Here's to the
perfect girl,

I couldn't ask for more.

She's deaf 'n dumb, over$exed,

and owns a liquor store." - Unknown

"Here's to you
and here's to me

And never should we disagree.

But, alas, if that cannot be,

To heII with you and here's to me!" - Unknown

"Two things I love most, good horses and beautiful women, and when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine and make it into a ladies riding saddle, so I can rest in peace between the two things I love most."
- Russell J. Larsen - Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah

Today's Humour:  -  TOP
10 ANSWERING MACHINE RECORDINGS

"AT
THE BEEP..." Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The
World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:



9.  Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets
are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture
taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they
will get back to you.



7.  Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of
these magnets.



6.  Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the
money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't
lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a
female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.



2.  Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me
a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.



Click here for all 10 RECORDINGS : http://www.strangecosmos.com/read.adp?joke_id=407



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The  Featured Picture Category this week: Pets
- Dogs - Cats - Furry Things

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Newspaper Headlines Year 2050: http://www.strangecosmos.com/read.adp?joke_id=1603

The Featured News & Humor Category this week:
Blondes - Male & Female Humour

http://www.strangecosmos.com/jokes/jokes_category_view.adp?joke_category_id=18

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