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You Might be a Redneck If..
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.......
1) THE HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN ON YOUR PORCH HAS MORE TEETH THAN YOUR SPOUSE.
2) YOU LET YOUR TWELVE YR OLD DAUGHTER SMOKE AT THE DINNER TABLE IN FRONT OF HER KIDS.
3) YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED THREE TIMES AND STILL HAVE THE SAME IN-LAWS.
4) ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY EVER DIED RIGHT AFTER SAYING "HEY, WATCH THIS."
5) YOU'VE GOT MORE THAN ONE BROTHER NAMED DARRYL.
6) YOUR JR/SR PROM HAD A DAY CARE.
7) YOU THINK THE LAST WORDS TO THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER ARE "GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES."
8) YOU LIT A MATCH IN THE BATHROOM AND YOUR HOUSE EXPLODED RIGHT OFF ITS WHEELS.
9) YOU HAVE FLOWERS PLANTED IN A BATHROOM FIXTURE IN YOUR FRONT YARD.
10) YA CANT GET MARRIED TO YER SWEETHEART 'CAUSE THERES A LAW AGAINST IT.
11) YOU THINK LOADING THE DISHWASHER MEANS GETTING YOUR WIFE DRUNK.
12) YOUR TOILET PAPER HAS PAGE NUMBERS ON IT.
13) YOU THINK A WOMAN WHO'S "OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE" BOWLS ON A DIFFERENT NIGHT.
14) JACK DANIELS MAKES YOUR LIST OF MOST ADMIRED PEOPLE.
15) YOU THINK GENITALIA IS AN ITALIAN AIRLINE.
16) YOU WONDER HOW SERVICE STATIONS KEEP THEIR RESTROOMS SO CLEAN.
17) YOU THINK DOM PERIGNON IS A MAFIA LEADER.
18) YOUR WIFES HAIRDO WAS ONCE RUINED BYA CEILING FAN.
19) THE BLUEBOOK VALUE ON YOUR TRUCK FLUCTUATES ACCORDING TO HOW MUCH GAS IT HAS IN IT.
20) YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF THE 'FRIDGE.
21) YOU HAD AT LEAST ONE OF YOUR KIDS ON A POOL TABLE.
22) YOUR HIGH SCHOOL FIGHT SONG WAS DUELING BANJOS.
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