|
Political Awareness Test
Political Awareness Test
Are you politically aware? Answer the following questions and see:
1. Al Gore extended to George Bush the offer to count all Florida ballots because:
a. He is a really nice guy.
b. He really likes George Bush.
c. He thinks every vote does count.
d. He had already lost so hey, he had nothing to lose.
2. The difference between Nixon's Watergate and Gore's Chadgate is:
a. Nixon's accomplices had to break in, Gore's accomplices were already in.
b. Nixon had class, Gore doesn't.
c. Nixon thought it up by himself, Gore took lessons from Bill Clinton.
d. Nixon won, Gore couldn't win even when he cheated.
e. All of the above.
3. Which of the following have tried to gain power over their countries by advocating the removal of guns and rigged elections:
a. Adolph Hitler
b. Muammar Qaddafi
c. Al Gore
d. All of the above
4. Lots of Democratic lawyers rushed down to Florida because:
a. There was a major voting injustice in Florida.
b. They wanted to see Gore get elected.
c. They wanted to work on suntans.
d. They wanted a cut of the money.
e. Scavengers are always drawn the smell of decay and corruption.
5. If Al Gore does finally win the election, he will:
a. Ask George Bush to be on his cabinet. (Yeah right!)
b. Write an executive order to ban the Republican Party. (See Question 3 above.)
c. Begin writing pardons for Bill and Hillary.
d. Have to kiss Tipper again.
6. A "Pregnant Chad" is:
a. A native African in a family way.
b. The first male to give birth.
c. Al Gore's only hope.
7. The 2000 electoral process is a very good lesson for our children because:
a. It teaches them how the electoral process works.
b. It teaches them to trust in the electoral process to work.
c. It teaches them to hire only the best lawyers.
d. It teaches them that character doesn't make any difference if you drag the count out long enough.
8. Lieberman's comment about his running mate Al Gore upon learning they had lost the election was:
a. "I will stand by him all the way!"
b. "We will not surrender!"
c. "Well, at least I'm still a senator, but he's out of a job!"
d. "What a schmuck!"
9. If Al Gore loses his court battle and is not elected president he will:
a. Blame George Bush for unfair practices in Florida.
b. Go back to Tennessee and grow more tobacco.
c. Enter a Buddhist Temple.
d. Reinvent the Internet.
10. Bill Clinton will not be invited to the inauguration because:
a. He will be leaving the Whitehouse and feel really bad.
b. He would get really smashed and embarrass himself.
c. He would get really smashed and embarrass Hillary.
d. Monica won't be there!
11. During the first few weeks after the inauguration Hillary will be:
a. Gearing up for her new office.
b. Trying to find something for Bill to do.
c. Trying to keep Bill from finding out her new address.
d. Sending Bill out to Buddy's vet to have him neutered.
e. Looking for a village willing to take Bill.
12. Socks the cat will suffer greatly after leaving the Whitehouse because:
a. New surroundings will cause stress.
b. Whitehouse chefs will no longer heat up the Socks' cat food.
c. Socks can no longer follow Bill around and eat pieces of Big Macs accidentally dropped on the floor.
d. Al won't be around to change the litter pan.
13. Buddy the dog will suffer greatly after leaving the Whitehouse because:
a. Bill will no longer be able to throw sticks for Buddy to fetch on the Whitehouse lawn.
b. Buddy will no longer have gardeners to clean up after him when he takes a dump. (Bill will be doing that!)
c. No secret service agents to guard his dog bones and squeaky toys.
d. Will no longer be able to urinate on the national Christmas tree.
e. Bill will be out of the doghouse for the Monica thing, so he will have to sleep alone.
14. Bill Clinton will feel the greatest sense of loss because:
a. He will no longer be the president.
b. He will no longer be invited to Washington events.
c. No more interns.
d. He can no longer buzz malls in the presidential helicopter dropping water balloons.
15. The greatest lesson that Bill Clinton learned while president was:
a. Being president is an awesome responsibility.
b. Being president is a real babe magnet.
c. First ladies can really get ticked.
d. There is nothing like good cigar.
16. When the Bushes move into the Whitehouse, they will find the Whitehouse garbage can will be filled with:
a. Gore/Leiberman 2000 campaign items.
b. Autographed pictures of Bill Clinton.
c. Fur balls from Socks the cat.
d. Presidential cigar butts.
e. Boxes and boxes of papers that were misplaced in the Whitehouse attic.
17. The first thing George and Laura Bush will do when they move into the Whitehouse will be:
a. Take a tour of the Whitehouse and decorate to reflect their personal tastes.
b. Visit the neighbors and say hello.
c. Fix the damage to the walls caused by all of the thrown furniture.
d. Spray down the oval office with Lysol.
18. The greatest effect on Washington when the Democrats end control of the Whitehouse will be:
a. There will be a Republican President and a Republican Congress.
b. There will be an effort to unite the two parties.
c. There will be no more executive orders to making Big Macs the "Official Sandwich of the President".
d. Ted Kennedy will have a hard time finding a designated driver.
e. Contributors will have to book a motel room instead of renting the Lincoln Bedroom.
19. When George Bush becomes president the most asked question by Whitehouse tourists will be:
a. How many rooms does the Whitehouse have?
b. How many people work here?
c. Is this the spot where Bill and Monica "did it"?
d. Don't my cousin Bubba live here no more?
20. The process of checks and balances goes into effect when:
a. The Judicial Branch checks the power of the Legislative Branch.
b. The Legislative Branch checks the power of the Executive Branch.
c. The Executive Branch checks the power of the Legislative Branch.
d. Hillary threatens to break Bill's head if he fools around again.
21. Al Gore contested the results in three Florida counties because:
a. Democratic Election Board designed ballots that were confusing.
b. Democratic Election Board installed faulty punch card systems.
c. Democratic Election Board installed punch card systems in neighbourhoods with minority and elderly voters.
d. Democratic Election Board did not get an accurate count the first two times.
e. He lost!
22. The most lasting effect of the Clinton Presidency will be:
a. The office of president will not be regarded with as much esteem and respect.
b. Jimmy Carter won't feel so bad about his presidency now.
c. Every grade school kid in the nation will know what "Oral Sex" is.
d. Workers will never get off the graffiti spray painted on of the Washington Memorial that says, "Bubba was here!"
Al Gore Vice Presidential Highlights:
Put the following lesser-known events in order of when they occurred during Al Gore's Vice Presidency:
a. Before the election Al was caught sitting at his desk with a wistful smile on his face, doodling the words, "Al Gore President of the United States" on a piece of paper over and over.
b. During a dull state dinner Al told Bill Clinton privately how his wife got the nickname "Tipper" and Bill laughed so hard he snorted milk out of his nose.
c. While visiting the Whitehouse, Al complemented Hillary on the navy blue dress she was wearing and asked her if she got it at The Gap.
d. Tipper verbally chastised Al when he inadvertently asked Bill Clinton, "What are some of the qualifications you look for when picking interns?"
e. Whitehouse security caught Al Gore putting a bag of Buddy's droppings on the Whitehouse steps, lighting it on fire, ringing the doorbell and running like mad.
f. While on the campaign trail, Al was stressing the importance of education and declared, "Why even the Clintons had Buddy the Whitehouse dog tutored!"
g. During a state dinner, a rather portly wife of an ambassador stood up and had the back of her dress stuck in her (Well, you know) and Al thought he would help her by pulling it out and almost got us in a real shooting war.
h. Al was publicly heard to promise Tipper, "Yes dear, when I become president you can be in charge of health care, but unlike some president's wives, I know that you can get the job done."
i. Vice president entertained Japanese diplomats and served the sushi made from fish caught from Washington Koei ponds.
j. Al and Tipper were seen in the local Kmart putting curtains on layaway in order to be ready to move into the Whitehouse when he won.
k. Secret FBI report was turned in to Bill revealed that Al was sitting in the toilette singing funny made up lyrics to the song "Hail to the Chief".
l. When shopping around for a running mate, the Gores invited the Liebermans over for a hog roast.
m. While visiting the Whitehouse, Al accidentally mistook Bill's saxophone for a gold plated urinal.
n. Al pointed at statue at the Lincoln Memorial and asked tour guide, "Who is this guy anyway?"
o. Al, looking for a restroom, accidentally followed Janet Reno into a ladies restroom and then loudly exclaimed in embarrassment "Sorry, I thought she was a guy!"
p. After the election Al was caught sitting at his desk with a sad look on his face, doodling the words, "Al Gore President of the United States" on a piece of paper and then crossing them out over and over.
Scoring: 100
Number of questions missed __________ multiplied by 3 =
_________
Unadjusted score
_________
If you are a Democrat add 20 points just because
+_________
If you were not smart enough to properly cast a Vote in the Florida 2000 election add 20 points
+_________
Adjusted score
_________
Note: If you do not like your adjusted score, keep figuring it over and over until it comes out like you want it!
If you got between Rate Yourself
0 - 30 points well done
31 - 50 points well done
51 - 70 points well done
71 - 90 points well done
91+ points well done
Please note:
This test is completely outcome based. We do not want anyone to feel badly about how they did on it. Therefore, we give anyone who takes it the same grade no matter how well they did. This was done in order to comply with the Clinton Administration's outcome based educational initiative.
Submitted by Steven C. Staats
|
|
|
Email This to a Friend
