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Request for Donation to Bill Clinton Memorial Fund
REQUEST FOR MONEY
Dear Friend:
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise five million dollars for a monument to Bill Clinton. We originally wanted to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.
We then decided to erect a statue of Bill Clinton in Washington, DC Hall of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside Jessie Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.
We appealed to our friends in Hollywood but have found that now that they can't bounce up and down in Lincolns Bedroom anymore, they're not interested. Barbara (like Oleo) Streisand and Alec Bald-win won't return our calls and Rosie is still upset about the bumper sticker she saw that stated, " Blaming GUNS for Columbine is like blaming SPOONS for Rosie O'Donnell being a Fat Ass!
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where he was, returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's money.
If you are one of the fortunate people who have anything left after taxes, we expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.
Thank you,
Bill Clinton Monument Committee
PS: The committee has raised over $1.35 so far!
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