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Summertime in Kansas (or Florida)
You know you are in Kansas during the summertime when......
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make instant sun tea.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.
You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
You discover that you can get sunburn through your car window.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
No one would dream of not having air conditioning.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
Birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
Potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
Cows are giving evaporated milk.
Trees are whistlin' for the dogs.
A sad Kansan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it, but for my 7 year old."
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