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Blonde Jokes
Q: Did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?
A: It's called MAIDS - if the don't get one, they die.
Q: Did you hear about the blond with a Masters degree in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.
Q: Did you hear about the new slogan for Miss Clairol's Hair Dye?
A: Buy a double batch and get a snatch to match.
Q: Did you hear about the conceited blonde?
A: She screams her own name when she comes.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A: She tied up the safe and blew the guard.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had an apendix operation?
A: Well, now she is making money on the side.
Q: Did you hear about the scared blonde nurse down by the water?
A: She won't go DOWN ON THE DOC.
Q: Did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency
room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ALMOST CAUSED A WRECK?
A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE DOCTOR?
A: She shaved her patients, then took off their clothes.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ATE MOUNTAIN OYSTERS?
A: She was dragged 200 yards.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see 20,000
leagues under the sea?
A: She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there
were so many teams.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE WHO STOOD IN FRONT OF A MIRROR
WITH HER EYES CLOSED?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL FOR BLONDES?
A: They take off their makeup.
Q: Why won't a blonde drink beer at the beach?
A: She's afraid to get sand in her Busch.
Q: Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
A: To keep their legs together.
Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
A: Her employer found out she was embezzling.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto
Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: HOW MANY BLONDES DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?
A: Blondes screw in back seats, not in lightbulbs, silly.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first...
Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
A2: Their mothers told them not with their mouths full.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.
Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A: Divorced.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the
blow dryer!
Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
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