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DASCHLE DEFINES DECISION DATA
DASCHLE DEFINES DECISION DATA
by: G.Marnier - SatireNewsService
When Sen. Tom Daschle was asked whether he plans to run for the Presidency now that he is no longer leader of the Senate, he said that although he was, to an extent, relieved to have more time on his hands to pursue interests he's had since he was a teen-ager, he is weighing his options and a decision will be forthcoming in the near future.
"My image in the Democratic party shows that I've always supported the arts and I think that in my being President of this great nation, I can further enhance the efforts of those of varied political, social and other persuasions, to show the millions who watch television that artistic expression is always better than dealing with reality.....er...No. What I mean is that we should all feel free to be ourselves and we should never take military action against a leader of another nation just because he's a murderer, a rapist and a terrorist.....No. What I mean is... Forget it. I have to go get elevators put in my toe shoes."
Sam Spayed, Daschle's as yet un-named campaign manager, said that the Senator is "One of us. He knows what it's like to be short...er, different...No. What I mean is he's aware of the multi-cultural interests of the electorate and is determined to heal the rift with France...or words to that effect."
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