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GORE HOSPITALIZED IN PSYCH WARD
GORE HOSPITALIZED IN PSYCH WARD by: G.Marnier, SatireNewsService (SNS) While patrolling Rock Creek Park in Washington, D.C. after the city was hit with a severe winter storm of snow, sleet and freezing rain, two members of the Park Police spotted Owl Gore running through the woods dressed in shorts and a tee shirt. The wind-chill factor was 8 degrees below zero. The former Vice President angrily told the officers to leave him alone, that he was on his way to give a talk on the upcoming "Live Earth Concerts" dedicated to mass persuasion about threats of climate changes and what he was wearing made a statement showing what the problem was causing, even in the world of fashion. After repeated refusals of offers to drive him to the conference, an ambulance was called and Gore was taken to George Washington University Hospital. His shouting and attempts to wrestle with the ambulance attendants necessitated his being put in restraints. Several reporters who had just left a Q and A with House Speaker Pelosi at a restaurant down the street, spotted him as he was being removed from the ambulance, ran to his side and asked if he had been in an accident. Gore yelled that he was being prevented from attending a global warming meeting, at which point he noticed that SNS's reporter was wearing a fur coat and started to yell even louder about the sanctity of animals. When asked the source of the leather in the hat that was given to him by one of the ambulance crew, he pulled it down over his ears, stuck his tongue out and was rolled into the Emergency Room prior to being evaluated in the Psychiatric Unit When Pelosi had been questioned earlier in the restaurant about why she thought she was entitled to have a jumbo military jet with a bedroom for her trips to and from her district in California, she said that her position was so essential to running the government, time was of the essence. Other questions revealed that she thought Hillary should get her husband more involved in the campaign: "After all, he had been the President and women love him". Although his name was not referenced by the reporters, Pelosi said that contrary to some Republican reports, Barack Obama (aka B. Hussein Obama by Ann Coulter) has finally given up smoking, adding that George Soros was a very dear, compassionate and caring man and even though she is Catholic, they both think "(W)omen should be able to dump...er, I mean, have abortions," and that she - along with Kerry, Rockafeller, Kennedy, Levin, Albright, Waxman, many others and both Clintons - had earlier spoken directly about the threat to the U.S. in Iraq's having weapons of mass destruction, we should now get out of Iraq because our troops aren't respecting the terrorist insurgent's rights. In what was seen as an attempt to get as much TV coverage as possible, Pelosi ended her comments by stating that Bill Clinton was not the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. -30- 
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