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POLITICAL ATTACK ON RESEARCH PROJECT
POLITICAL ATTACK ON RESEARCH PROJECT by G.Marnier - SatireNewsService At a joint press conference held in front of the Capitol Christmas tree, Kerry, Kennedy, Pelosi, Gore, Feinstein, Schumer, Boxer, Striesand, DNC Chairman Dean, the ACLU, NARAL, NOW, Planned Parenthood and PETA dismissed the photograph of an elephant in utero as an example of Republicans showing how they will overcome their 2006 loss and retake the Congress in 2008. The negative reactions reflected specific positions of the Democratic Party and their supporters. NARAL and NOW claimed that the lack of sexual identification of the elephant is a deliberate affront to females. The members of Congress present protested that there have been no research projects showing a jackass in utero and feel this is rank discrimination against the Democratic Party. PETA wanted to know the source of the grant money for the research and whether the mother elephant was raped or did she agree to the fertilization process. Killa N. Fant, spokesperson for Planned Parenthood raised the loudest and angriest argument against the photograph. "This is a deliberate effort to wreck financial havoc on the pro-abortion industry. If people are shown a healthy, live elephant growing inside it's mother's uterus, they'll start asking if what is growing inside a human mothers uterus is also alive and if it is, does abortion mean that the life of a live child has been terminated," at which point she tore the picture into small pieces and threw them on the grass just as ACLU representative Harry Tick started unscrewing the lights on the Christmas Tree while shouting "Keep Christ out of Christmas." The Capitol police, who stand at the ready during any and all gatherings on the Capitol grounds, immediately surrounded Killa and Harry, informed them they had violated security regulations, handcuffed both, put them in a police van and drove off, after which the rest of the protesters were told the leave the grounds which they did with anger and insulting comments to the remaining police in language which SNS will not repeat to its readers both because it is inappropriate for a family publication, and those who know the groups represented had already heard it at other Democratic gatherings. 
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