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'Dumb' GI Writes Letter to "Smart" John Kerry
SENATOR JOHN KERRY
304 RUSSELL SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
WASHINGTON DC 20510
DEAR SENATOR KERRY:
WE ARE STILL LAUGHING OVER HERE IN IRAQ AT YOUR JOKE ABOUT THE TROOPS BEING
DUMB. WE DO RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE A LOT SMARTER THAN WE ARE BECAUSE YOU
WERE ABLE TO GET OUT OF COMBAT IN THREE MONTHS. THIS IS WHY WE ARE SEEKING
YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE GIVE US GUIDANCE.
1.) WHERE IS THE LEAST PAINFUL AREA ON THE BODY TO INFLICT A WOUND?
2.) DOES IT HAVE TO BLEED OR WILL A SCRATCH DO?
3.) WHERE DO YOU GET THE FORMS TO FILL OUT RECOMMENDING YOURSELF FOR A
PURPLE HEART?
4.) DO YOU NEED A WITNESS? IF SO, HOW MUCH DOES THAT COST?
5.) ARE THREE PURPLE HEARTS STILL GOOD FOR A TRIP HOME?
6.) WHAT IS A REALISTIC PERIOD OF TIME IN WHICH TO ACQUIRE THESE WOUNDS?
LESS THAN THREE MONTHS SOUNDS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS EVEN TO US.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP AND KEEP THE JOKES COMING.
JUST A DUMB GI
Submitted by Ann S.
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