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POSTAL SERVICE PROBLEMS INCREASE
POSTAL SERVICE PROBLEMS INCREASE
By: G.Mariner - SatireNewsService
Due to the mounting problems caused by citizens using e-mail, UPS and Fed-Ex and the long lines at understaffed post offices, the US Postal Service has asked Congress to enact legislation which would raise rates yet again.
"It's not all our fault people get angry," an employee told SNS, off the record. "I mean, like you can't believe how dumb some of our customers are. One man wanted Christmas stamps and when I asked what denomination, he said: 'Give me 12 Catholic, 4 Episcopalian and 32 Baptists.' What are we supposed to do? Smile instead of laughing out loud?"
As proof of how far the dissatisfaction has gone, an elderly lady was charged with "assault and battery" after having stood in line for 40 minutes and then denied service and told to go outside because she lit a cigarette to calm her nerves.
In a show of what her attorney described as a "Perfectly logical solution to the problem, she exited the building and mailed her letter at the corner postbox. Unfortunately, due to her frazzled nerves she didn't see the the postman who was picking up the already deposited mail."
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