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LIBERALS PROTEST NEW FAA REGULATIONS
LIBERALS PROTEST NEW FAA REGULATIONS by: G.Marnier - SatireNewsService In the wake of declining revenues and the threat of possible bankruptcies caused by the public seeking other forms of travel, airline executives have released a comprehensive plan to assure passengers that safety from terrorists is the first order of business. Predictably, pro-Saddam anti-war protesters in the entertainment media, objected. During a hastily called meeting with the media, Martin Sheen said: "The First Amendment guarantees us the right to express our opposition to war and it protects the rights of all passengers, even terrorists." When asked by SNS if he thought armed pilots possibly could have averted the 9/11 terrorists' attacks and the deaths of thousands, an obviously confused Sheen angrily responded that "The media doesn't know what it's talking about either," but then hastily apologized to Dan Rather and Peter Jennings. Speaking off the record, a pilot and former Navy aviator, said: "That Hollywood crowd would have supported Hitler, Tojo, Mussolini, Stalin, Idi Amin and anybody else to get their names in the news." When asked by SNS if he thought their statements were ultimately aiding and abetting the terrorists in Iraq, he said: "Absolutely. They're one of the reasons Saddam's honchos are still operating. Gotta check in. See ya.. " 
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