|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||
|
|
NON-REALITY WINNER AT ANTI-WAR RALLY
NON-REALITY WINNER AT ANTI-WAR RALLY By: G.Marnier, SatireNewsService Producers of the newest make-over contest which dealt for seven weeks with young women getting themselves into extremely good physical shape in order to compete for the chance to marry an unknown husband from another land, joined with other anti-war demonstrators in Washington over the weekend and at a special event across from the White House, the winner and the groom were married by a minister from the Feminists Unhappy at Notoriously Getting Unfulfilled Sexually (FUNGUS) Bambi Phillips, who wrote the original outline for the show, stood with the Metropolitan police who were assigned to the demonstration and told SNS that due to changes made during the initial discussions of theme, purpose and content, her proposal was rejected and she is now bringing suit against the producers and financial backers. "The whole idea was that the show would be a happy event", Phillips said. "I wanted to have nice young girls who had led good, clean lives to find a husband and be married in the Church of their choice. In no uncertain terms, I was told that the ACLU would be all over our necks if God were even mentioned, sponsors would be scared off and the networks wouldn't even talk to us. Due to the pending law suit, I can say no more at this time." SNS thanked Philips and was immediately pulled aside by a man who said he had been involved in physical therapy training for the aspiring brides and asked SNS if he could speak "Off the Record." After being assured he could, he stated: "Ms. Phillips is a very nice lady but the people behind this show are anti-war feces faces who make their living by making believe and expect people to think they've got something between their ears. What they've come up with is for some American girl to marry a member of al Quida to show that America apologizes to Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Ladin for invading Iraq and killing all those people. After a honeymoon in France and Germany, the couple will live in a mansion in Beverly Hills bought with Oil For Food money, do regular appearances on ABC, CBS, NBC and CNN, a weekly interview in the New York Times and Washington ComPost, travel the country, staying with Kofi Anin in New York and in a condo in Washington owned by the DNC. SNS asked "Did the bride-to-be agree to all that?" and was told: "You serious? When she showed up for physical therapy she was wearing all the pads she'd worn when she told the producers she weighed 214 pounds. She's so desperate for publicity, she would have married a whale. I was tempted to spill the beans but decided to let it go and if she were the winner, make sure the deception got out. That's why I pulled you aside." At that point, the couple-to-be exited a limousine and walked across Lafayette Park to the waiting media. In what was thought to be a concession to Western fashion, the groom wore a white head covering instead of the usual black and in what was known as a photo-op for the anti-war cause, Cindy Sheehan stepped forward and announced she was the Maid of Honor and as always waving his arms, John Kerry stood beside her as Best Man. 
|
|
Email This to a Friend)