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KATRINA CAUSE SCIENTIFICALLY ESTABLISHED
KATRINA CAUSE SCIENTIFICALLY ESTABLISHED By: G.Marnier - SatireNewsService. In what was planned to be a technical explanation of the severity of Hurricane Katrina, Jason Argo, a leading meteorologist with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) stated at a press conference held in the Commerce Department's Washington Headquarters, that the originally held reason for the storm's intensity as it moved north through the Gulf was due to the waters which were 2 to 3 degrees Fahrenheit above normal and it is evaporation from warm ocean waters that provides energy for hurricanes. At that point, what was later described as a media melee occurred, with reporters out-shouting each other that George W. Bush had not only not responded quickly, he actually had caused the hurricane with his global warming philosophies and his not immediately withdrawing all the US Forces from Iraq when the first evidence of Katrina was recorded off the coast of Cuba, and deploying them to Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, Florida, Alabama, South Carolina, Georgia, New Mexico, Arizona, Tennessee, Wyoming and Utah only added to his responsibility for the disaster and the loss of life.. Dr. Argo waved for silence, said there were startlingly new revelatory findings from NOAA's research, but first he would make an historical observation. "In the 1970's, environmentalists were concerned about what they determined to be the coming ice-age. That concern has now been redirected to global warming although they haven't clarified which one caused the sinking of Lusitania and Andrea Doria, Yellow Fever, Plagues, Spanish Influenza, bubonic plague and Polio, Hurricane Camille, the Chicago Fire, San Francisco earthquake, WWII and the Stock Market crash in 1929." Dick Limpidous, a reporter for the DNC jumped up and told Argo that nobody wanted to hear his opinion on anything. "I'm representing the leaders of this nation and we want to know when Bush is going to be charged with dereliction of duty." "And who might those leaders be?" asked Argo. Whipping out a list, he read: "Kennedy, Pelosi, Dean, Jackson, Gore, Fonda, Nazin, Blanco, Moore, Schumer, Biden, Feinstein, Boxer, Fonda, Kerry, Byrd, Farrakhan......" During the loud cheers from the media, Argo welcomed a gentleman to the rostrum and when a degree of order was restored, introduced him as Prof. Hans Ohn, -"A scientist with the Hurricane Center who has perfected a revolutionary system of determining the wider scope of storms as they traverse the earth." Bowing graciously, Prof. Ohn said: "Although ocean temps do influence the strength of storms, it is the original atmospheric conditioning that has been of interest to me. In an interview I gave to a reporter from SNS when Hurricane Isabel slammed into the middle Atlantic states two years ago, I showed how temperature precipitates vacuum isobar formations. Isabel was drawn to Washington because Congress had reconvened and the masses of hot air erupting from those whose names were just read, was pulling the storm to the city. If it had not been for the stabilizing pressure from the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington would have taken a much harder hit." When Downee tried to interrupt, Ohn pointed to him and said "Sit down. I shall now give you an example of what I speak. Although liberals and a great deal of the media in this country have rendered themselves useless, due to the enormous influence they have on their numbed-down viewers, the mass of hot air hovering in the atmosphere has reached catastrophic proportions. It is my view that the only way we can successfully avert further catastrophes is to give the public the scientific proof of the danger that we are facing." at which point he motioned for the technician to show the following photograph. "Please note that the right side of the cloud shows the outline of an angry face. We ran this through our highly specialized data bases and were informed that, as clearly as if it were DNA, the accumulated image is of what is known in politiapsychic phenomonology as liberalati disinformatzioni ludicrustomic and is clearly the face of Howard Dean ." With a bow both from Argo and Ohn, they exited the room amid yelling and language that one does not usually hear in public government buildings, except when the media is present. 
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