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How Many Christians Does It Take To Change a Light Bulb
How Many Christians Does It Take..
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Pentecostal:
Only one.
Hands already in the air.
Presbyterian:
None.
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Catholic:
None.
Candles only.
Southern Baptist:
At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and
three committees to approve the change
and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalian:
Three.
One to call the electrician,
one to mix the drinks, and
one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.
Mormon:
Five.
One man to change the bulb and
four wives to tell him how to do it.
Methodist:
Undetermined.
Whether your light is
bright, dull, or
completely burned out, you are loved.
You can be a
light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Church-wide lighting service is planned
for Sunday.
Bring the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene:
Six.
One woman to replace the bulb while
five men review church guide on lighting policy.
Lutheran:
None.
Lutherans don't believe in change.
Church of Christ:
They do not use light bulbs because
there is no evidence of their use
in the New Testament.
Unitarian:
We choose not to make a statement either
in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found
that light bulbs work for you, that is fine.
You are invited to write a poem or compose
a modern dance about your bulb for next
Sunday's service, during which we will explore
a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life,
and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths
to luminescence.
Amish:
What's a light bulb?
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