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KERRY COURTS FEMINISTS
KERRY COURTS FEMINISTS By: G. Marnier, SatireNewsService Concerned that his lagging poll numbers will sink even further, John Kerry took a side trip during his campaign swing through California and visited a gathering of his feminist supporters in San Francisco. The dinner was being held in the campaign offices of Democrat Rep. Nancy Pelosi and had been arranged by NARAL, Ladies Eagerly Seeking Better Outre Sex (LESBOS) and assorted other Kerry backers. In his continued effort to show that he is all things to all voters, Kerry donned apparel that he felt would convince the women that he cared deeply about their choices. The media was not alerted for fear that the Bush campaign would use his appearance as yet another example of his flip-flopping, in this case on matters of his sexual orientation. When SNS received a copy of a photograph taken by one of the waiters at the event, an effort was made to contact Teresa etc., etc., etc. Heinz Kerry for a clarifying statement about the particulars of their marital relationship, but the call was not returned. 
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