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Kerry's Latest Headache: Football Fans for Truth
Kerry's Latest Headache: Football Fans for Truth
Make room, Swift Boat Veterans for Truth: A new group, Football Fans for Truth, is tackling Sen. John Kerry.
Cheesed-off readers from Wisconsin e-mailed us last month when Kerry referred to the Green Bay Packers' Lambeau Field as "Lambert Field." You'd think Kerry wouldn't have fumbled that Frenchified name, but Football Fans for Truth also notes Kerry's infamously bungled praise of the Ohio State Buckeyes ... during a visit to Michigan.
And it cites a third gridiron gripe about the Massachusetts Democrat, complete with photographic proof: "John Kerry throws a football like a girl."
The group zaps the senator for other athletic offenses as well, including:
"Kerry told a radio interviewer that his favorite Red Sox player was Eddie Yost. Eddie Yost never played for the Sox."
"Kerry once praised 'Manny Ortez' of the Red Sox. There's no Manny Ortez on the Sox lineup or indeed, any other MLB roster. Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz play for the Red Sox. Maybe all baseball players' names sound alike to the Democrat nominee."
"When Kerry threw the first pitch at a Red Sox-Yankees game, he did not throw from the pitcher's mound yet still bounced the ball before it reached home plate. He then blamed his namby-pamby throw on the catcher, a National Guard soldier and Iraq war veteran: 'I held back,' Kerry told reporters. 'He was very nervous. I tried to lob it gently.' Conclusion: John Kerry throws a baseball worse than a girl."
His elitist attempt to blame a Secret Service agent for a fall while skiing.
One we'll add: Kerry's snotty jab at President Bush's bicycle accident, even though the senator himself also fell off his bike.
Football Fans for Truth asserts that "America deserves a President who knows the difference between an airport and a football field, and who can spook a batter at least as well as he scares a dove."
Jeff Larroca, the organization's director, says Kerry "is not fit to be our sports-fan-in-chief."
Is Football Fans for Truth for real? Let's see what other media have to say:
The New York Times: "Most Refreshing Alternative to the Swift Boat Veterans: A new 527 group, Football Fans for Truth, formed by two lawyers in Arlington, Va., to 'help the American voter and sports fan determine whether John Kerry can be trusted to represent the nation both as president and sports-fan-in-chief.'"
The Washington Post: "Now a spoof group calling itself 'Football Fans for Truth' has formed with a game plan 'to raise awareness about John Kerry's eminent failures in the area of sports knowledge.'" And: "Another Republican truth squad has assigned itself to Democratic presidential nominee John F. Kerry. This one is on football, and it's going for a grand-slam basket. Or a hole in two."
USA Today on Sept. 15:
The founders of Football Fans for Truth claim they came up with their idea about a week ago neither could remember the exact day during a fantasy football league draft when friends were laughing about Kerry's lack of sports knowledge.
"As the chuckles drew roars, somebody said, 'You should start a 527,'" said Larroca, referring to the section of Internal Revenue Service code that allows political advocacy groups to receive tax-exempt donations.
[Dino] Panagopoulos, a former Texan who is a Dallas Cowboys fan, and Larroca, who grew up in the Washington area as a diehard Redskins fan, agreed Wednesday that Lambeau, for whom Lambeau Field is named, was one of the original Three Stooges.
They were joking, right?
"I'm serious," Larroca said. "I believe Curly Lambeau was one of the Three Stooges, and that's my final answer."
Submitted by Jason K.
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