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Clinton 'Heart Operation' Humor
Former President Bill Clinton had quadruple bypass surgery. Hes doing fine. Now I had quintuple bypass surgery. He had quadruple. Beginners! Everything went well though and doctors say that in 48 hours I can start making jokes about him again.
Did you know this? Al Gore had a similar procedure. Four years ago he had an Oval Office bypass surgery.
I actually called President Clintons hospital room today but he couldnt talk. I couldnt get through, he was busy giving the nurse a sponge bath.
It looks like both John Kerry and Bill Clinton both have purple hearts.
Were you shocked by that news? I was stunned when I heard Bill Clinton was in the hospital. I just assumed Hillary finally ran over him with the Mercedes. He looked so healthy.
President Clinton was admitted after complaining of mild chest pain and shortness of breath. And today Dick Cheney said, "Hey, for me thats a good day
.what a weenie.
Apparently the warning signs were there. People said they knew something was wrong when they say Clinton grab his own chest for a change.
Luckily he was with a nurse at the time of the attack. He just happened to be with a nurse that night.
They said the operation went very well. Thank God the president is doing fine. The anesthesiologist had a news conference today, he was one of the doctors who had a news conference, he said Clinton had a little problem using the gas on Bill Clinton to put him under, they couldnt get him to inhale.
Thats the thing, they couldnt get him to go under. Luckily John Kerry called and spoke to him for about 10 minutes and Clinton was out like a light. Just bored him to death.
President Bill Clinton is recovering from bypass surgery. The doctors say hell be able to have sex in two weeks and Hillary said, "If he does, Ill kill him!
Hes recovering nicely though. Hes already hit on a chubby nurse.
Who would have thought that his heart would be the first organ to go out?
Former President Clinton is doing very well and getting better every day. In fact yesterday they took him off his respirator and today they took him off a nurse.
Former President Clinton is now wide awake and alert. I wish we could say the same for the current president.
This is interesting. For 73 minutes during the surgery Clinton had no pulse and no heart beat. Just like Kerry campaign.
You know since Clintons surgery Americans have been lining up for heart checkups. You know he has that effect on people. During his impeachment Americans were lining up for oral sex.
It was so hot, I was sweatin like Hillary Clinton trying to find Bills life insurance policy! "Where is that thing?
More and more news coming out about President Clintons successful heart operation. Doctors said today that during Clintons surgery they stopped his heart for 73 minutes. In fact at one point Clintons entire life passed before him. In fact, at first he didnt recognize his life because it was nothing like he wrote in his memoirs. There was no resemblance to his book at all.
President Clinton got 10,000s of thousands of get well messages. Which was nice. President Bush said a prayer for him, Jesse Jackson went to see him in person, Rush Limbaugh sent over pain pills. I thought that was nice. Everybody did what they could.
Doctors held a press conference about the operation and were asked over and over again when Clinton would be able to start campaigning for John Kerry. "When can you start campaigning? "When can you start? Finally, they turned to Kerry and said, "Will you shut up?!
Submitted by Kelly
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